Recently I attended professional development in which we were asked what we could control in [a given] situation. Discussion highlighted that our behaviour is a direct, consistent ‘control point’ we have in a circumstance.

This principle seems clear when establishing something like healthy habits. We might opt for a piece of fruit instead of a chocolate when feeling snacky, or go for a brisk walk (even if it’s only for fifteen minutes) instead of staying on the couch. For a writer it might be giving up a favourite television programme in order to do more writing each day, or not playing that second game of spider solitaire. (But who would do that, anyway? Ummmm…)

The success of achieving a healthier life or writing more are quite obviously determined by prioritising and self-discipline. But have you ever found yourself saying:

“I just couldn’t help myself!”

I’ve said it and I’m sure some of you have, too. Perhaps it’s in reference to a sharp retort at the end of a stressful day; an unexpected calamity that drives us to the brink; a whining child. Yeowch, I can feel some sore points!

Ultimately, all of us in the training group conceded that we do have a choice to ‘help ourselves’. Challenging but true.

Even if we can control nothing else in life, we have the responsibility of controlling ourselves – and as reflected across our training group, this is the result of deliberate, habitual choices: choosing to stop and think before launching into a nagging tirade; realising what things ‘press out buttons’ and preparing in advance to give ourselves permission to hit pause! Of course we will blow it at times, but as we journey through life we should be learners, not just reactors.

On a slight tangent, this makes me think of life goals and dreams. It’s one thing to have goals, but it’s another thing to realise them. Sometimes life truly hands us some curve balls that we cannot seem to dodge. But just as a house doesn’t randomly build itself, so our achievement of a goal must be planned and thoughtfully constructed. Yes, there will be days when a figurative brick falls from nowhere onto our carefully nurtured dreams, smashing them to pieces. What to do?

Give up? Sometimes that seems easier. What if, instead of throwing hands in the air and frantically wailing, we focussed on the one thing we could do towards reviving that dream. One goal, one step, one choice – each day. A habit of learning and choosing.

That sounds like something I could do more of in my life. How about you?