Could offense be up there with the worst of transgressions in our modern culture?

To be clear, I’m not talking about systematic bullying, but simply sharing differing opinions and values in a public (or even private) space. Once upon a time if someone had a differing perspective or worldview, there might have been robust discussion, development of resilience, perhaps acknowledging conflicting views, whilst recognising not everyone has the same opinion or values as each other. And let’s face it, some of us have no filter, whether that be for a moment or a lifetime!

Nowadays, offending someone can see a person cancelled, de-platformed from social media, discredited to the point of harassment (aka cyber—or even in person—bullying), or even their career ended. If it’s a sporting career, that cancellation can apparently extend a lifetime. It doesn’t matter whether these opinions are evidence-based, faith-based or anything else based, if those opinions go against popularised (or politicised) ideologies and narratives, one can land themselves in a steam bath—skip the boiling one!

You’d think with offense being such a duplicitous act, we’d all have equal right to victimhood, but increasingly in the court of public opinion, only certain groups of people have the right to be victims, and thus the right to justice. All those in the ‘wrong’ category are termed offensive oppressors and must apologise for their existence. It’s a case of judge by what you see, not the content of one’s character. (Aka critical race theory.) For example:

• Having the ‘wrong’ skin colour is apparently offensive and oppressive. (Hello racism.) Never mind what traumas and oppression a person may have experienced in their own life, irrespective of their skin pigmentation.
• Being the wrong gender supposedly requires one to perpetually apologise for that gender because they are automatically oppressing others.
• Having faith of the wrong sort can be another vice.
• And don’t even start on the wrong name—get it changed. NOW. After you apologise for being so offensive.

Now brace yourself, I’m about to be offensive and share a not-so-popular opinion.

My opinion is that any person can be a victim of misuse, abuse, control. These crimes are non-selective and no one has the right to assume such facts about other people’s history based on their external appearance. Likewise, any person can be successful, even against overwhelming odds. This concept of judging and categorising by certain physical and cultural characteristics is horribly divisive and, if history has taught us anything, such division only weakens us as a society and sets humankind against humankind, building barriers that prevent understanding and commonalities drawn from the fact we are all one human race—equally valuable.

But what about those who haven’t had enough life experience to know this truth? Yes, I mean our awesome young people. This “right to victimhood” and “oppressor” system is what students in some of our AUSTRALIAN schools are being taught. I don’t know about you, but this makes me cranky.

Recently I met with a friend I’ve always found to be wise and clear headed. They made a passing observation about the epidemic of offense in our culture, and it was the most sensible advice I’d heard in a very long time.

• Be kind. Translation: treat others as you would like to be treated.
• Translating that further, if a person could not comfortably say something (or in the case of a social media, post something) to their mother, don’t.
• Be aware that everyone has a lot going on. Try putting yourself in another’s shoes before getting on the offensive.

Revolutionary, right? Actually, it’s how many people used to think before we got so hypersensitive.

This logic was a breath of fresh air and I know they live this reality. They are loyal, believe the best of others, and they see character, not appearance. They are kind, careful with their words, but firm about doing the right thing.

I think we could learn a lot from my friend.